Warning: This article contains discussion of sexual assault which some readers may find distressing.
A sex expert has warned of a disturbing trend some men are practicing during intimate moments with women, and while some might brush it off as simply a deceptive act, and nothing more, it can have serious consequences.
The trend actually puts the person at risk for sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and unintended pregnancy, not to mention it completely ignores their right to make decisions about their own body. Some countries are starting to recognize the practice as assault, but laws around it are still catching up.
Experts say that it is a symptom of bigger issues with power and control in relationships. It often happens when one person feels entitled to disregard their partner’s boundaries, turning an intimate moment into an act of manipulation. The impact on the victim can be long-lasting, from emotional trauma to difficulty trusting others in future relationships.
The trend involves deceiving a partner during sex (Getty Stock Photo)
The trend involves deceiving a partner during sex (Getty Stock Photo)
The practice in question is known as ‘stealthing’, and it’s causing a lot of people to rethink what consent really means. Stealthing is when someone secretly removes a condom during sex without their partner’s consent, and it’s a dangerous trend that is way more serious than many might realize. It’s not just a violation of trust—it’s considered a form of sexual assault.
Speaking to the Daily Mail about the trend, Rhiannon John, a sexologist at Bedbible.com, said: “Some people may seek to assert dominance or disregard their partner’s autonomy, driven by a sense of entitlement or toxic beliefs about masculinity.
“Others might prioritize their own pleasure or the thrill of risk over the boundaries set within the relationship. In other cases, it can even stem from malicious intent, such as sabotage or reproductive control, where the act is used for manipulation or harm.
“Regardless of the motivation, stealthing is a profound violation of trust and consent, reflecting a fundamental disregard for the emotional, physical, and psychological well-being of the victim,” John added.
Two 2019 studies found 12 percent of women have been a victim of stealthing, and 10 percent of men admitted to having ‘stealthed’ a partner. Another study from 2020, titled ‘You Do It without Their Knowledge. Assessing Knowledge and Perception of Stealthing among College Students’, noted that participants felt that stealthing was ‘a violation of their privacy, trust, sexual consent, and their ability to make a health decision, and should be considered an assault’.
‘Stealthing’ is considered to be assault (Getty Stock)
‘Stealthing’ is considered to be assault (Getty Stock)
The study also found sex differences in the perception of stealthing being considered a sexual assault with lower rates among males as compared to females.
Jamie Wright, a trial attorney in California, told DailyMail.com that stealthing ‘is usually born out of selfish desires, control, dominance, or lack of respect for one’s partner’ and the risks are high and consequences devastating.
Wright said: “The risks of stealthing are severe. It increases the chances of contracting STIs and there is a high likelihood of getting pregnant, which the victims did not consent to.
“The psychological damage can also be severe. The victims tend to feel cheated and violated. Some of the effects that are usually experienced in the long run include anxiety and depression as well as difficulty in building trust in subsequent relationships.”
The study on stealthing among men found those with a greater hostility toward women and a more severe sexual aggression history had ‘significantly higher odds of engaging in nonconsensual condom removal behavior’.
Although legal systems are still catching up with ‘stealthing’, the fact that it’s being talked about is hopefully good start in holding people accountable and changing the way we approach consent.
