It goes without saying, how one person defines a ‘friend’ might be different from how you look at your mates, but if there’s one thing we can agree on, it does change as you get older.
As an adult, the idea of keeping in touch with every single friend from primary school, secondary school, uni, and so on, is just unrealistic. And there’s all sorts of reasons why, you might drift apart, you might live too far away or, quite simply, they’ve become a bit of a n**head.
But when it comes to the friends you should ditch, Dr Julie has explained what you need to look out for.
Signs you should no longer be friends with someone
Appearing on a recent episode of the Great Company podcast with Jamie Laing, the clinical psychologist said: “I think it comes with a lot of guilt doesn’t it?
“Well because we grew up with that kind of idea that, you know, ‘friends are forever’ and that kind of thing and Hollywood has a lot to answer for with these kind of stories, of, you know, friendships that just endure for life.
“And those do exist, but there are also other friendships that come and go and that’s okay too. Or there are times when you realise, as you get older maybe, your values change or their values change, and it no longer fits.
“And it’s okay to call it a day if a friendship is unhealthy for you, or if someone is causing you harm in that friendship, if it’s not working for you, it’s okay to pull back from it.”
Breaking up with a pal, in some ways, is more difficult than leaving a boyfriend or girlfriend.
Dating a person for a few months and realising that they’re not for you isn’t really the same as outgrowing someone you used to play footie with in the playground.
“Well I guess it depends on the friend, doesn’t it, and the situation and the connection that you have?” she said.
“You know, some endings will be big and emotional and have that big conversation, and others will be friends that you’ve had, because you were in the same places at the same times.
“And so you’re able to just part ways without a big confronting conversation about what’s gone wrong. Yeah I think it depends on on the situation.”
